Today it is basketball, but every day we have opportunities to do things just because they bless our child or our husband. We never know which one of those little blessings will touch them in such a powerful way that they will actually, “arise and call us blessed”. Do what you can, say ”yes” when asked, and look for ways to bless those closest to you.
It is moms vs. the High School girls playing basketball today. This morning I looked up Proverbs 31 and much to my surprise there was no playing of basketball mentioned. Doesn’t this game fall under my godly wife and mother description? Perhaps not in detail, but it does very much in theory. Let me explain, Proverbs 31: 28 says, “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” One of the women has no experience at BB and is only playing because her eight year old son asked her to. Last week, after a short half hour practice, her son ran up to her with a big hug and said, “Good job, Mom.” He arose and blessed her. She will be blessing him again by playing today. When this game was in the planning, I was going to coach and not play. Not playing was fine by me; running is not very attractive to me these days. Yet, the other coaches informed me I would be playing. In the end, I am glad because when my daughters asked if I was playing and I answered “yes” they cheered, “YEAH!” They arose and blessed me and I plan to return the favor today. Another wife had her husband tell her he was proud of her for playing. He praised her. Rumor has it that many of the husbands are taking off of work early today to come and cheer on their wives and daughters. That certainly makes a wife feel blessed.
Today it is basketball, but every day we have opportunities to do things just because they bless our child or our husband. We never know which one of those little blessings will touch them in such a powerful way that they will actually, “arise and call us blessed”. Do what you can, say ”yes” when asked, and look for ways to bless those closest to you.
0 Comments
Ten children, four parents, for four days…sound like a good time? That was our past weekend and we had a blast!! How is that possible? Well trained children make it possible. Was everyone perfect all of the time? No. Each misbehavior was quickly addressed and the fun resumed. Oh how I wish cameras could have been installed so other young families could have observed how well our friends are bringing up their children.
Let’s see if I can give a peak into the weekend. During game playing, if voices got too loud the parents gave a verbal reminder to lower their volume. When competition got the best of the children and unkind words were voiced, the parents quietly pulled the offending child aside and had them apologize to the others upon returning. One incident even involved cheating and lying. A child had peaked at another player’s hand and then denied cheating when caught. The father took the child into another room, read a verse about the heaviness of sin—wish I could remember, but I don’t—and the child responded to the conviction; he started weeping and admitted cheating. After consequences were administered, the child had to apologize to all the others and ask if they would allow him to play again. Truly beautiful!! The youngest here for the weekend was three. She had a few training sessions when she tried to rank her will over her mother’s. More than once it was during a meal and she was quietly carried off and shortly after brought back to try again. Oops, not quite ready to submit to mom, so off again for another correction. Because of the mom’s patient consistency the daughter joyfully obeyed and the meal was continued. My favorite character training of the weekend also involved the three year old. She was looking at my husband and crinkled up her face at him. The father asked her, “Why did you do this (he showed her his crinkled up face) to Mr. Doebler?” She stared for a second and then said, “I like him.” Father then explained, “This” (again showing the face) “is an angry face, not a friendly face. No more.” (one last showing of the “angry face”) The cutie pie agreed and was on her way. Our friends did not vacate training on their vacation to our house. For their consistency they are being rewarded with a loving family and we are looking forward to them visiting again. Have a question of how do I go about teaching my daughter manners. Hubby wants meal times to be pleasant and her manners are so bad I try to not look at her while we eat because it's gross. She eats with her mouth open, talks with a full mouth of food, frequently spits the food she just had in her mouth back onto her spoon, and has a tendency to eat with her fingers.
My husband was never brought up learning manners so frankly to him it is considered a "pet peeve" of mine. I can't raise my kids to have no manners, that just isn't acceptable to me. She is gone all day at school so what would you suggest for me to train her. The other kids are not perfect don't get me wrong. They are miles ahead and aren't disgusting at the table. Their manners are pretty good. I'm just really struggling with this area and it's been a source of conflict between my husband and I. > I think the ESP concept presented in the book would be perfect for helping your daughter with manners. First off you would need to find a non-conflict time you could role play good and bad behaviors on a regular basis. Ideally it would be nice to do this between school and supper so it doesn't take away from Daddy time. If that is not a good time, making it a part of their bedtime routine could work too. The idea would be to work on one thing a week. You may or may not want to start with manners, perhaps joy or playing Mommy says could be a start. When manners is your topic--I would talk about what good manners look like and what they do not look like. Then I would have the children pretend to have good manners and then show you what bad manners look like. Correct during role playing and have them practice doing what you want them to do. When they are playing bad manners, laugh and say that's right, good job, chewing with your mouth open is not good manners. Now you know that they know what's good manners and what is not. Lastly, pick one thing to work on that week and perhaps make a sign to remind the child when they forget at supper so you are not having to verbally nag, just say,"child's name" and when she looks do your sign. If it continues remind, but do not make it a battle, out of respect for your husband. Instead, continue each day to practice and ask the children for imput on how to be more mannerly. Then I would skip manners for a week or two and do something else. The next time you focus on manners work on not eating with fingers. Now even though manners might not be the focus of the week you can still review it quickly during your non-conflict time and still use the sign to remind during the meal. > Obviously, character training is a passion of mine. Yet, character training is not the end—it is just one cog in the wheel. If I raise children that just know how to perform out in public, I will have failed. If I raise children that just love and respect me, I will have failed. If I raise children that shine bright of their own accord, I will have failed. The high goal we aim for with our children is to release our leading and training over to their Lord and Savior. In the end the only success will be if these beautiful children follow their Creator passionately, wherever He leads them.
Each week I pray with a good friend of mine for our children. We each take a turn praying for the needs of our child and then the other agrees and adds. Then that mom prays for her child and the other agrees and adds. It is a wonderful time! These times helps me lay my children at Jesus feet, again. My heart aches for my children. Sometimes it is just the day to day that I am begging God’s help for. Often though, I am concerned about their eternity. Each of them love the Lord, it is just that I am very aware that their futures will not be easy. How can I prepare them? Is it ever enough? When it comes to encouraging someone in their walk with Jesus , what impacts most? Prayer? Example? Sharing? Yes, yes and yes. I’ve learned a lot in life by observing. My children most certainly are watching. One example I am focusing on is prayer. They hear me pray in Bible time and before bed. That is good, but rarely do they hear me struggling in prayer or begging for wisdom. If my hope is for them to walk daily with Jesus, it will help if they see me communing with Him through the good and the bad times. Don’t worry I will still be censoring the prayers they hear, but I do want to give them a glimpse of how my heart aches for God's control. Valentine’s Day has me thinking about love. Todd and I have been married 25 years—wow!! That is great news! Yet our longevity is not because we are so wonderful. Neither of us could pass for perfect and really we are very average. We have been through tough times, but it was by leaning on God that we made it through. Great marriages don’t just happen; they take effort and a trusting that God is in control. So in order to have a great marriage or any relationship for that matter, a solid sincere relationship with Christ must come first.
A friend was struggling because her husband was done having children and she wasn’t. How could she respect him when he was being so selfish? I encouraged her to cry out to Jesus, to trust He was big enough to lead her husband. “So,” she asked me, “are you saying I am not trusting God?” Well, Yes, I guess I was. God is not our puppet on a string, yet He is very much in control and wants us to experience His peace that goes beyond all understanding. Relationships will always fail us. Isn’t that great news? Still God has made us to be in relationship, so how do we navigate the ups and downs? Simply by clinging first to Jesus, before any person, only there can we find stability. “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.” There is no formula, only desperation. It isn’t easy, yet it is so simple. Spend time. Discuss everything with the Creator and Lover of your soul. Hunger for God’s words; not by just reading, but by devouring His Word. Think about what He has shown you and made real to you. Ponder His desire for your life, your year, your day, and your moment. As we are all well aware, love is a verb. With Feb. 14th just around the corner, let’s commit to action! "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30 After all, this is the greatest commandment. Our daughter started driving this year. It wasn’t as if on her sixteenth birthday we just handed over the keys and said, “Let us know when you get home.” In reality her driving lessons started very early. As a baby we carried her and put her wherever we wanted her, but it wasn’t long before she was learning to maneuver by wiggling, scooting, and then crawling. She was learning to avoid obstacles and to focus on where she wanted to go. A small sense of independence was experienced, yet, all under the watchful eye of her parents. More steps were taken, literally as she learned to walk. Again it was gradual, first holding onto things and then stepping and falling. After much practice, some intentional some on her own, she mastered getting from point A to point B without having to extend her arms for balance. (OK this story is moving along slowly, but stick with me, please.) Next came a scoot toy, she sat on and moved with her feet. Now stirring was involved and sometimes speed. We watched from a distance allowing her to learn from mistakes, yet limiting danger. Within a few years a tricycle was her favorite form of transportation. The skill of moving came quickly, while stopping didn’t come as natural. Again we gave boundaries and pointed out the dangers that could happen. Skateboards, scooters, rollerblades and ice skates all enforced watching out for others and knowing when to stop. Riding a two wheel bike was a major step. Purposeful practice was done with our daughter coasting down a small hill with her father running beside her and her mother cheering for her to peddle. The number of nights of practice are forgotten amidst the habit riding has become now. Mowing the lawn by hand and then with a rider, starting the car, driving the old farm truck across the field, steering the boat, snowmobiling, and backing the car out of the garage all prepared our daughter to drive. Each new skill came with explanations of how to do it and what to watch out for. Still more purposeful teaching was required before the family car was going to be at her disposal. For six months she attended class and practiced driving with a parent. It was after graduating through each of these stages that we were happy to add another driver to the family.
So it is with character training. Each trait is taught one step at a time. We can’t expect to sit our child down for a 45 minute lecture and send him on his way. Character training takes years, literally. Some skills will come easy, others will require much repetition. More detail can be added after basic principles have been understood. When children are young they require many boundaries and few freedoms. Basically their circumstances are very controlled and well monitored in order to best train in the way they should go. Each day adds another opportunity to learn something more or perhaps something completely new. As the children mature, more space may be given to allow them to learn through experience, but Mom and Dad are always close by. Preteen years will bring more liberty. But liberty comes with responsibility, when responsibility is neglected then liberty is retracted. The teen years may include some pushing to provide stretching opportunities. These years are the testing period. It is time to find out what is real and what is just put on to please Mom and Dad. Like the joy that came the day we handed Sammy the keys to the car, so parents that have committed years to training their children in character can send them off smiling and with confidence in their hearts. |
Archives
September 2016
Categories
All
|