Although I have a lot of ideas I would like to share with you, the biggest need I see is a paradigm shift from why or why not, to trusting God wants the best for us. He created us and knows what we need better even than we do. His rules are to protect us, not to harm us or to keep good from us.
Like driving a car: should anyone that is capable of reaching the
pedals be allowed to drive? Aren’t all the traffic laws too restrictive? No, the laws protect us from harm and bring order to everyone’s driving.
Virginity is a wonderful gift that can only be given once. It cannot be lost, only given. God’s plan is for us to give that to our life mate, Satan has cheapened it to be an emotional trinket.
Song of Songs says in chapter 2 and 3 “Do not arouse or awaken
love until it so desires.” In other words, protect love; don’t stir it up too soon. Are you ready to get married? Age, maturity, emotionally, spiritually, financially….? Do not stir up love until you are ready to put action to what it will desire. If God tells us to save sex for marriage then we should save our emotions for marriage too.
Boys are to be viewed as brothers not toys. I Timothy 5: 1b-2
“Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” With the view of a brother all sexual connotations are erased.
Eph. 5: 3 “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual
immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” Not even a HINT. That takes away trying to get as close to some line as one can, because the goal is to not have even a hint. Greed in this passage is appropriate too because what is greed? Wanting what I want, when I want it.
In the end, rules are not enough. Rules are a guide and a help,
but rules alone can stir rebellion. It is the heart that must be addressed. Again, God must be trusted. His way must be desired. There must be the understanding that God’s Word is true and the world is not. The world’s truths are ever changing; God’s Truth is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I Thes. 4: 7-8 “For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who
gives you his Holy Spirit.”
Regarding guys thinking differently than gals---this is a key point. I did not understand this until after several years of marriage. We cannot lean on our own understanding, because we do not understand! I do have two great illustrations that God has given me that I think really show this difference in a way girls can understand. (Too long to share here, perhaps another time.)
By the way, I am not sure how this is coming across, so I want to
assure you I have great compassion for the battle these girls are experiencing. I did not become a Christian until late in my senior year of high school. Before that I was consumed with boys. God can change us and fulfill us, I have experienced this personally.
I understand the desire to be noticed at one point and not stand
out at another. As I Cor. 13 speaks about love, it is this kind of love that will help girls through this battle. Sure you want a boy to notice you, but there is no such thing as ONE boy noticing you, every male will notice you if you are boasting about your body. Love does not boast. The other extreme is girls hearing, “they just want me to be frumpy or dress like a homeschooler”. Man does look at the outward appearance, while God looks at the heart. Our dress is important! It must be modest, pure and chaste (not chased) while being attractive and orderly. First impressions are important and how we dress is definitely one area we can control and not have it be a distraction. Practically, layers are our friend. When I share on this topic, I like to bring in photos, and ask girls where their eyes are pulled by different outfits. We want to bring attention to our face and eyes, not cleavage.
May God give you leaders the words to speak and the girls ears to
hear what God is speaking to them!