The Lord made each of us. God always has a purpose and plan for what He makes.
God’s loves is unconditional. He knows we are prone to wandering. As we prepare for courtship we may really, really want to catch one boys eye. We may give into some flirting or pick a tighter top to wear so we “stand out". All the time this struggle is taking place the Lord is whispering, “No Sweetheart, this is not My plan for you. Lovely child don’t chase after temporary pleasures, I love you; I want to fill you up.”
The Lord is saying “No” not because He wants to keep fun from you but, because He knows the plans He has for you. He can see the big picture and what each choice brings with it.
Jer. 29: 11 “’For I know the plans I have for you’ says the Lord, “to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘”
The Lord is also near to all who call on Him.
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jer. 29: 12-13
Sometimes when we are lonely we self medicate—we try to fill that empty feeling. We text our friends, try to do something fun, make and eat a snack….none of those are bad yet they will only distract us not fulfill us.
When it comes to giving up on courtship, being lonely is the number one side tracker. It is the densest fog. Only Christ can truly satisfy us, because He created us to love Him and that is where we get filled up.
If we go into a relationship because we are lonely, who are we thinking about? SELF
If two lonely people get together, who is each thinking about? SELF
What do two self-thinking people have to give each other? NOTHING
Each is thinking, “Why don’t you love me?”
Look at two selfish toddlers trying to play. "Mine, mine" is the mantra. Nothing can be enjoyed because each toddler is so concerned with making sure they get everything they want.
It may not be played out so loudly, but marriage is the same, it doesn’t work if individuals remain selfish.
The best thing you can do for your future spouse is to defeat selfishness and get filled with Jesus.
So in a nut shell, these years before courtship are a time of protecting your heart, making and living by your plan, researching what you want in a spouse and preparing to be the wife he will need.