I have done my fair share of worrying about this little darling. She hasn’t ever done anything to warrant my fretting, yet her attractions seem worldly to me. The up side is I have been prompted to do much praying for her and I know God hears the cries of my heart regarding her.
This past week though, I had an eye opening experience. As I was reading an article the phrase, “fear disguised as wisdom” jumped out at me. Yes, I was parenting Andrea in fear and calling it wisdom. All I wanted to do was protect her and I swung too far and fell right into the pit of fear.
How this looked was whenever she went out of my sight I layered her with don’ts. Don’t watch, don’t listen, don’t go, don’t follow, don’t boss, don’t eat…. My thought was if she stayed away from the extreme of what she may be attracted to she would be protected from its harm. Every time she stepped out and tried something new, I would run to my husband and tell him how uncomfortable I felt with her doing such and such. He would assure me it was ok and then I would give it to God saying, “It is Todd, Lord, he is letting her do this, guide him and protect her.” All the while I was telling myself I was wise to be so aware of all the evil out there trying to trip up my baby.
As I read the phrase, “fear disguised as wisdom” the scales fell off my eyes and I realized that was me. So how does that change things? It will not change my being aware of the battle out there. There will not be a huge difference in what Andrea is allowed to do. What will change is how I prepare her to face the world. The “don’ts” are to be replaced with “dos”. As she walks out the door or just faces another day at home, I can speak courage, purpose, strength and life into her. For example, when she went to a friend’s after church on Sunday. I encouraged her to be a leader without being bossy; Be flexible, while always remembering Whose she is. Then lastly, as she is at her friend’s, to do everything with the knowledge and power that comes from knowing God is with her wherever she goes.
Little outward change, but huge inward change. It is not as if this is a new idea to me, my vision just got blurred. Inwardly, I have much more peace, even confidence. While walking in fear, I was feeling anxious and often confused. Now, I am back in the saddle, riding on the back of God's Truth, and ready to prepare my daughter for the days ahead. Thank You, Lord for caring for me enough to shake me and correct me. Amen.