It is a pretty common philosophy to believe that God created men
more visual and women more emotional. I would have to agree with this based on my observations, but where is this principle in the Bible? I couldn’t think of any verses from memory that stated this, so I did a word search. Still I found nothing specific, just general warnings and encouragements.
Then I read Song of Solomon. Very interesting.
Still it is not stated specifically that God made men more visually responsive and women more emotionally responsive, but the example of what is written is very telling.
In the dialogue of the Lover (the man) refers to his beloved as
beautiful eleven times. When the Beloved (the woman) speaks she calls her Lover handsome only one time. On top of that the man
describes the woman in detail five times, while the woman only describes him physically one time. The one description she does give is in response to being asked.
On the other hand, the woman speaks of her heart seven times to the man’s two times.
It is not that the woman doesn’t notice how the man looks or that
a man doesn’t experience a twinge in his heart, but one definitely has more than the other.
Often a man’s being visual is pegged as being a negative thing.
Yet, this ability to appreciate beauty is truly God given. The difference between how my husband looks at something and I do is drastic.
For example, one spring we headed down south. As we were on the road early one morning, there was frost on the ground. It ended up not being any ordinary frost, it was hoarfrost. Every
blade of grass, every branch, and every leaf had frost on it. It was impressive. I soaked in the beauty. Then I started to read my book. Not my husband or son, they enjoyed the frost for the
full hour it lasted. Periodic amazement would be voiced and then they would have to share with us girls by making us look some more.
I looked at the hoarfrost like I do clothes on the sales rack.
Oh, that is sooo cute and then I move on to the next outfit. I appreciate beauty—quickly. The fellas in my family really enjoy beauty.
Sometimes when we are at home, I will hear my husband call me
from his office. I will have the flashing thought, “He must have fallen and can’t get up” so I rush in to help him. What greets me is a man staring out the window holding out a pair of binoculars for me. “Quick, you have to see this” he’ll tell me. Whatever it is
that day, he just HAS to share it with me because it is so beautiful to him.
Again, I will state ”That’s neat” and hand the binos back to him. I am ready to move on to the next thing, he is ready to set everything aside to see the fullness of what he is viewing.
Being visual or emotional is God given with limitations. A man is
not to look on a woman with lust and a woman is not to “arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” God gave us the visual and the emotions, but we are to keep them under control, they are not to rule us.
As women our emotions want to lead us. Emotions are meant to be enjoyed, but they are not a very good guide. If I judge my marriage on emotions alone, it could appear like a roller coaster ride. But, if I enjoy the warm fuzzy feelings when they come and remain stable when they are missing, then I have a healthy marriage. Real life is not like the movies, it is better!! The
movies only promote the emotional part of relationships, very shallow. A marriage based on God’s love focuses on being patient, kind, generous, and not selfish.
Yes, God has made us different. Men tend to be more visual and
women more emotional. One is not better than the other. One is not right and the other wrong. God created us this way for a purpose. Allow God to use you as He created you to be used.
Embrace the difference and thank God for broadening you
world by bringing the other perspective into your life.