to see that misbehavior is normal in their house too.” Actually, that is not an exact quote, but that was the idea.
I understand that we find comfort in knowing we are not the only
ones struggling or fighting a battle, but, what does that comfort produce in us? A mother can either find comfort and sit back and relax or find comfort and keep on fighting. Which will it be?
Too often it seems moms “take comfort” as an excuse to overlook a problem. Seeing others struggle like we are somehow causes us to reason that this is a stage and all children go through it. All children go through it, so why fight it? Why fight it when they will grow out of it, eventually? Since, we are not the only ones struggling with this, it is normal. We can handle normal.
The other option for a mom would be to “take comfort” that what
they are going through is nothing new under the sun. The battle is real, but we are not alone. At times we can see things more clearly when we observe others, so we can ask ourselves, how could I handle that situation when I face it?
Overall, our main response whenever our own offspring act up is
to NOT overlook it. We may not make a big to do about it right then and there, but that does not mean the situation is over. Later, at home or on the ride home, readdress the situation and replay how the child could have done it better.
Just this weekend our son was standing in the kitchen with my
sister-in-law and me, when I told him to unload the dishwasher. Suddenly, he remembered his other chores that needed doing. He declared, “I have to…..” I didn’t like his telling me what he was going to do, but instead of lecturing him in front of my sister in law, I compromised. “Son, you need to unload the silverware before you do your other chores.” He obeyed. From the outside, it may have looked like he won. (which isn’t a complete misread) The important thing is that later when we were alone, I brought the topic up again. We discussed how it was disrespectful to tell me what he was going to do. I reminded him that he needs to ask
me not tell me. His correct response would have been, “Ok Mom, I have other chores to do also, which would you like me to do first?”
If you would have been in my kitchen with us would that situation have caused you to take comfort that we are normal so you can rest , or take comfort that we are normal and all fighting the same battles?
Galations 6: 9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the
proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”