There is a list give in both I Timothy 3 and Titus 1. As parents
I Timothy 3:4 has always spurred us on, “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.” Our children are a measure of our ability to lead others. Verse 5 says, “(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)”
It was the Titus verse that hit me today. Titus 1:6 “An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.” Today I wondered why this verse didn’t just say, “whose children believe and are not wild or disobedient.” There must be a reason for “are not open to the charge of being”.
After pondering it for awhile, this is my take: If our children have a reputation of godly character then if someone tries to bring an accusation against them it would be laughed it.
Here is an example: A leader is telling a story of how one of his students was really acting up last night. The child was talking out of turn, laughing loudly at own jokes and unable to sit still. Then he says, “So I had to pull (your child’s name) aside and talk to him/her.” Whoever was listening would laugh because it would obviously be a joke because it is so out of character for your child.
So the added phrase, “are not open to the charge of being” raises the standard even higher.
Now don’t be discouraged if you have little ones that are still acting up and at times you get talked to by other adults. Keep training and being diligent at home, so in a few years this verse will describe your family.
A quick clarification, this is not living for man’s approval, (in the end it does not matter what man thinks) but it is a check God has put in His word for us to aspire to.