*Ah, here is a familiar one, Be Kind
This is a basic expectation a man comes into marriage with that speaks respect to him. A man thinks that when he gets married his wife will be kind to him.
An area the Lord showed me I was not being kind was in my communication.
I thought I was communicating my needs by telling Todd what I didn’t like. As I read Eph. 4:15 “Instead, speaking the truth in love” the rebuke I heard from God was, “Kim, you are not communicating or speaking the truth in love, you are condemning.”
Who is motivated by negativity? My listing to my husband what I didn’t like, wasn’t creating in him a burning desire to love and cherish me. Rather, my continual pointing out of his short comings was weighing him down. I wouldn’t be surprised if he even wanted to avoid me. Who wouldn’t rather sit and watch TV than hear about how far short they are falling?
In the future, when I felt the need to communicate a more negative comment, I would try to sandwich the comment in something positive. There are plenty of things to compliment so I just need to include how much I am thankful for those before I point out a small area desiring change. This may sound manipulative, but I realized I like it when Todd softened a rebuke with a compliment so I will try to return the favor.
Todd will also often lighten up his request for change with a comment like, “I have probably never mentioned this before” or “I might be misreading this": and then onto his desire for me to change and irritating habit. It really helps.
I am much more likely to listen and desire to change with these opening comments than if he would start out with, “Why do you always…” or “it really bugs me when you..”
On a lighter note, My husband has often said, “A good wife laughs at her husband’s jokes.” This may sound silly, but the reality is a wife should be the one person her husband can count on being on his side.
We have a friend that is….well, over the top. He is not always appropriate in his comments or his timing. He has embarrassed me and I have been embarrassed for him. Yet, he has a beautiful wife that is always by his side. She will laugh with him and does not disconnect herself from him…ever. When we talk and he is not around, she brags on his good qualities. She is truly beautiful! I respect her and like her husband because of her faithful stance of being on his side.
My husband has a very dry sense of humor. I love it. He is funny and getting his jokes actually makes me feel smart. The unfortunate thing is when people don’t know him they may not know he is joking. I can do him good by laughing at his jokes so others to may know he is being funny. After all, “A good wife laughs at her husband’s jokes.”
Just two more ways for us to be kind: communication and laughter.
This is a basic expectation a man comes into marriage with that speaks respect to him. A man thinks that when he gets married his wife will be kind to him.
An area the Lord showed me I was not being kind was in my communication.
I thought I was communicating my needs by telling Todd what I didn’t like. As I read Eph. 4:15 “Instead, speaking the truth in love” the rebuke I heard from God was, “Kim, you are not communicating or speaking the truth in love, you are condemning.”
Who is motivated by negativity? My listing to my husband what I didn’t like, wasn’t creating in him a burning desire to love and cherish me. Rather, my continual pointing out of his short comings was weighing him down. I wouldn’t be surprised if he even wanted to avoid me. Who wouldn’t rather sit and watch TV than hear about how far short they are falling?
In the future, when I felt the need to communicate a more negative comment, I would try to sandwich the comment in something positive. There are plenty of things to compliment so I just need to include how much I am thankful for those before I point out a small area desiring change. This may sound manipulative, but I realized I like it when Todd softened a rebuke with a compliment so I will try to return the favor.
Todd will also often lighten up his request for change with a comment like, “I have probably never mentioned this before” or “I might be misreading this": and then onto his desire for me to change and irritating habit. It really helps.
I am much more likely to listen and desire to change with these opening comments than if he would start out with, “Why do you always…” or “it really bugs me when you..”
On a lighter note, My husband has often said, “A good wife laughs at her husband’s jokes.” This may sound silly, but the reality is a wife should be the one person her husband can count on being on his side.
We have a friend that is….well, over the top. He is not always appropriate in his comments or his timing. He has embarrassed me and I have been embarrassed for him. Yet, he has a beautiful wife that is always by his side. She will laugh with him and does not disconnect herself from him…ever. When we talk and he is not around, she brags on his good qualities. She is truly beautiful! I respect her and like her husband because of her faithful stance of being on his side.
My husband has a very dry sense of humor. I love it. He is funny and getting his jokes actually makes me feel smart. The unfortunate thing is when people don’t know him they may not know he is joking. I can do him good by laughing at his jokes so others to may know he is being funny. After all, “A good wife laughs at her husband’s jokes.”
Just two more ways for us to be kind: communication and laughter.
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