Category: Devos - ESP Character Training(Explain, Show, Practice)

Courtship: Prepare II

8/16/2014

Psalm 145: 17-19 “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them.”

The Lord made each of us. God always has a purpose and plan for what He makes.

God’s loves is unconditional. He knows we are prone to wandering. As we prepare for courtship we may really, really want to catch one boys eye. We may give into some flirting or pick a tighter top to wear so we “stand out". All the time this struggle is taking place the Lord is whispering, “No Sweetheart, this is not My plan for you. Lovely child don’t chase after temporary pleasures, I love you; I want to fill you up.”

The Lord is saying “No” not because He wants to keep fun from you but, because He knows the plans He has for you. He can see the big picture and what each choice brings with it.

Jer. 29: 11 “’For I know the plans I have for you’ says the Lord, “to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘”

The Lord is also near to all who call on Him.

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jer. 29: 12-13

Sometimes when we are lonely we self medicate—we try to fill that empty feeling. We text our friends, try to do something fun, make and eat a snack….none of those are bad yet they will only distract us not fulfill us.

When it comes to giving up on courtship, being lonely is the number one side tracker. It is the densest fog. Only Christ can truly satisfy us, because He created us to love Him and that is where we get filled up.

If we go into a relationship because we are lonely, who are we thinking about? SELF

If two lonely people get together, who is each thinking about? SELF

What do two self-thinking people have to give each other? NOTHING

Each is thinking, “Why don’t you love me?”

Look at two selfish toddlers trying to play. "Mine, mine" is the mantra. Nothing can be enjoyed because each toddler is so concerned with making sure they get everything they want.

It may not be played out so loudly, but marriage is the same, it doesn’t work if individuals remain selfish.

The best thing you can do for your future spouse is to defeat selfishness and get filled with Jesus.

So in a nut shell, these years before courtship are a time of protecting your heart, making and living by your plan, researching what you want in a spouse and preparing to be the wife he will need.

Courtship--Project

8/14/2014

Above all else protect your heart. Then, make a plan and live by it. Today we will look at Project (with a long o). According to Webster’s 1828 dictionary, to project is: to cast forward in the mind; to devise something to be done. So, how does project fit into courtship? Let’s start by asking a question.

Is it wrong to be attracted to a guy?

No. God has created us to be attracted to the opposite sex; that is normal.

What does a girl do with those feelings?

This is where project comes in.

When feelings come, step back and evaluate what attracts you to that boy. Ie: he is kind to his siblings, he is encouraging, he is tall….it can be anything. Now tuck that away in your “what I want in a husband" file: and keep it for later. This is projecting.

As far as the specific boy that is stirring your emotions, I would encourage keeping a little distance until the feelings fade and you can treat him like a brother. I Tim 5: 1b-2 “Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”

Projecting is like doing research. Every plan requires research before beginning and so does courtship. How do you know who to say “yes” to if you have not both observed and noted what you like?

Still this is too big of a decision to just weigh what you like—what else is there? Tomorrow we will have a longer post addressing Preparation.

Courtship--Plan

8/13/2014

Above all else, guard your heart. Next, make a plan and live it out.

Think of something in your life that required planning and practice. Some examples might be: a speech, sports, a project, finishing a subject early…..

Think of what you did to accomplish this goal:

--planned

--sought advice

--checked with others along the way

--practiced

--revised

Was it all fun? No.

Could you have done it all alone?

If yes, would it have turned out as well?

How did others help?

Marriage is a goal; we cannot expect to get there with a good result without a plan. If our plan is courtship then that will guide our decisions now.

So if our plan is to only “date” to get to know someone with the intent to marry, then we need a plan that keeps us from being distracted from that goal. We need to gather around us a team that will help us fulfill that plan. As we look for people to walk along side us, don’t miss those who love you most and know you best, your parents.

Crafting a plan now will help you make wise decisions when your emotions try to confuse you. Make your plan as detailed as possible. Think about what conversations are appropriate with a guy; what actions should be avoided; what attire you will wear and what you will not; and make a way out of one on one situations. Plan a code for friends or parents for help; a word, a text or a look that they know means you want them to intervene.

Get alone, take time to think and pray, then make a plan you can live out regarding courtship.

Courtship: Protect

8/12/2014

Last week was girl’s camp. Four days, four girls, four devos. We looked ahead to what these girls will be encountering in the next few years and we came up with four C’s. We covered: Cars, College, Courtship and Career. The other host mom prepared cars and career, while I looked at courtship and college. Today I would like to start a four day series touching on courtship. I broke it down into four P’s: protect, plan, project (with a long o), and prepare.

I will start with PROTECT.

Why courtship and not dating? I like courtship because I hope to stir you girls away from the destruction that comes from shallow “going out”; this is the seeing what you can get from the other person and then breaking up when you tire of them type of dating.

I want to encourage waiting to “date” until you are ready to marry and with the purpose to see if this is the man God has for you. That would be my definition of courtship: getting to know someone with the intent to marry.

Now courtship does not start the day a man asks your father if he can get to know you better. It starts NOW! There are four P’s that start NOW, they are: Protect, Plan, Project and Prepare.

The first thing you can do now is protect your heart. Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else protect your heart.”

I understand this is not easy with EVERYONE asking you if you have a boyfriend and All your friends enjoying the attention of cute boys. Yet, this is a choice you will not regret—where casual dating includes a lot of regrets.

Protecting your heart means keeping it whole for your future husband, not giving pieces of it away.

Protecting your heart means not giving your heart away in relationships or in fantasies. It is not just girls that are dating that are giving away their hearts. Determine what awakens your heart to fantasy and deny yourself; all with the goal of keeping your heart whole for the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

Tomorrow we will look at the second P: Plan.

Taking Too Strong of a Stand (devo for teens)

3/15/2014

Mid to late teens often hold an attitude of: “I know what is best for me” or “I certainly know more than my out of touch parents or my siblings” This attitude is not good, but it is not necessarily all bad either. It is a time of stretching wings, of finding a place in this world. Yet, being realistic about our knowledge and our need for understanding will help when meeting this road block.

Why do I call it a road block?... because, this attitude shuts down all communication. If the thoughts, “I know what is right” is ringing through one’s head, then there is no room for learning. I would like us to recognize this road block and turn it into a toll booth. (an idea I first heard from Tim Elmore)

This weekend I heard a speaker, Rick Marks and he had a point we all need to remember when we are feeling completely right in a situation. Let’s visualize that all the knowledge in the world fits into this imaginary circle. (picture me drawing a circle in the air with my arm fully extended) If this represents all the knowledge in the world then what could properly represent how much knowledge you have? Perhaps a pin dot, or some may be a pencil eraser, and a very few may cover the space of a dime, but however much knowledge you have it is minimal compared to all the knowledge in the world, correct? So in every situation there may be something you don’t know. Agreed?

In other words, be careful about taking too strong of a stand about matters that don’t matter.

“Love your neighbors as yourself” is right after loving God with all your heart according to Mark in his gospel. I love me very well. When I start feeling crabby and also have an uncomfortable feeling in my tummy, I go eat something. When I feel emotional and can’t think straight, I know I am tired and send myself to bed. When I am cold, I get a blanket. So you see, when I feel something uncomfortable I look and see my need and try to meet that need. Often when someone else makes us feel uncomfortable, frustrated, even angry, they most likely have a need that is not being met. Look beyond the surface and see if you can meet their real need.

In every situation, loving our neighbor is what is most important, even if that neighbor is our sibling, parent, or friend. Instead of holding the ground of our point, we can look for what they really need. Remembering we only have a small, small dot of knowledge anyway, allows there to be a possibility we may not be right.

In our house we say, “people are more important than things”, today I’d like to change that to “people are more important than being right.” Yes, this is hard. It is hard because it is humbling.

I Peter 5:5 “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Humility is the toll booth to communication and loving our neighbor. Humility is a choice, like putting on jeans or dress pants. We put humility on. Not only does humility allow us to love our neighbor even when we are not in agreement, it is in humility that God gives us grace, grace to love the difficult to love. Picture it like this: We are sure we are right so we stick our heels in to prove our point. A road block has been set up, no ground can be made, it is a standoff. The moment we choose to put on humility and admit there may be more to be learned, is like the moment we throw a few coins in the toll booth and the arm goes up. We are opening the way to communication and coming to genuine understanding.

This is maturity, not living by feelings or to prove one’s own point, rather to love our neighbor and humble ourselves to meet other's real needs.

Pleasing the Lord Devo

12/18/2013

Supplies: glass of water, two straws

Announce, “I have a prize for the person who can drink this glass of water, using these two straws, in ten seconds. Pick a volunteer. Have the volunteer first take a sip of water from each straw individually; next ask if they are ready. Now, take one straw out of the water and hold it outside the glass while the other straw remains in the water. Tell them to go. It is impossible to drink the water with one straw out of the glass. Feel free to give another volunteer a try.

This is a picture of Luke 12: 29,31 “Do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.” “But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”

These verses tell us to focus on just one thing—pleasing the Lord—that is drinking with one straw. With just one straw, our thirst is quenched. By focusing on Jesus, by being thankful to Him and serving others, we welcome in peace and joy.

When we try to have God and the things of this world we end up not having anything. Like drinking with two straws, the worldly things drain our hearing from God and experiencing His peace and joy.

I know for me, it is better to give than to receive because of the joy I see it bring to others. I am blessed by other’s thankfulness. Now I am not saying God is like me, but I do believe He is blessed by our thankfulness. We honor Him by giving thanks in all circumstances. (I Thess. 5:18)

Jesus also says in Matt. 25: 40 “The King replied, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me.’”

Truly as we serve one another, we are drinking from one straw, we are pleasing the Lord.

Next week is Christmas, the celebration of Jesus birth. What a great time to be thankful and to drink from one straw. Yet, many other straws try to distract us. Things that could enhance our celebration of Jesus’ birth can drain and distract if we focus on ourselves or what we didn’t receive. Some extra straws might be: recitals, parties, presents, food…when these things disappoint us we feel empty. So instead of putting our straw (hope) in a perfect recital, an exciting party, or a special gift, focus on Who is being celebrated and serving those you are with. By being thankful we can enjoy the extras that come with Christmas too.

Drinking from one straw is how the Lord wants us live year round. We can rid ourselves of the second straws that try to drain us by being thankful and serving others. When we are thankful, we chase away discontentment and welcome in peace and joy. When we serve others we are serving the Lord. By thanking and serving we are drinking from one straw, the straw of seeking God’s kingdom, which is pleasing the Lord.

Tree Devo--Day Four (final day)

7/18/2013

Tree Devo: Day four

Ice Breaker: Share what makes you laugh.

What do you know about a tree’s fruit? (write down answers)

1) A tree is judged by its fruit. Look up: Matt. 7: 16 Often as Christians we judge each other by what we do or have done. This is not always an accurate measure of a person’s life in Christ. At the same time, like the verse says, if we love the Lord our life WILL show it.

2)  The fruit of a tree is how it reproduces. The fruit itself does
not guarantee it will reproduce not every seed lands in fertile ground. Look up: Matt. 13: 4. Our fruit will produce more of our same kind. Christians share in order to bring others into God’s kingdom. Our ultimate desire is to share the love of Jesus with the whole world. Look up: Gen. 1: 12.

3)  In order to bear fruit the fruit is dependent on the overall health of the tree. Fruit is a product coming out of the tree being healthy, as well as the tree being in a healthy environment. In order for us to bear the fruit of the Spirit that lives in us, we must be in touch with the spirit, as well as controlling our environment. In order for the fruit of the Spirit to develop in our life, it requires both sensitivity to God’s leading and obedience to His commands. Look up: I Peter 1: 2, II John 1: 6, Romans 8:6, Gal. 5: 22, Romans 11:16

4) The fruit of a tree is not the only proof of the health of a tree. There are normally three out of four seasons that a tree does not bear fruit. The overall tree is healthy and rebuilding for the next fruit bearing season. We too may have seasons of much fruit and seasons of rebuilding.

5)  Fruit does not show on a tree until it matures. Actually, a tree may bear a little fruit right away, but the real harvest comes with maturity. Look up: Eph. 4: 13-15

6)  The fruit of a tree does not benefit the tree. Fruit is a gift, it is given freely. Unlike the tree, God often allows us to benefit from the privilege of bearing fruit. Yet, our goal is not to benefit. God wants us to freely give of the gifts He has given us. Whatever God wants to do with the fruit He has developed in us is up to Him. He
is the source of anything good in our lives.

7) Read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein and discuss it.

Lastly, ask, “What is the most important part of a tree? (roots
and trunk) It is the more hidden parts that are most important. Just as with a Christian, being well rooted is the most important. The beauty of the crown and fruit will come out of the roots and trunk being healthy.

In the alone time read: Romans 12: 14-21 (handout verses in The Message too)

After 10-15 min. come back together and discuss how these verses spoke to each person and how the verses relate to bearing fruit?

Take prayer requests and pray for the person on your left.

Tree Devo--day three

7/17/2013

Tree devo: day three

Ice breaker: tell your happiest memory

Today we will look at the branches and leaves of a tree.

What do you know about branches and leaves? (write down
answers)

1) Branches spread out and reach for the sun. The branches reaching out are like our reaching out for the Son when we praise Him. And branches also look like us holding our hands up in surrender, which is what we do when we allow the Lord to be the lead in our life. Look up: Acts 17:27

2)  Leaves take in carbon dioxide and give back oxygen. Sort of sounds like our being told to give a gentle answer in response to wrath. We are also like leaves when we listen to a friend’s problems and give him back encouragement. Look up: Romans 12: 21, Prov.15:1

3) Through photosynthesis leaves create food for the rest of the tree. This is like the work the Holy Spirit does when we meditate, ponder and journal on His Word. As we ponder God’s Truth the
Holy Spirit turns our knowledge into something we can live out. Look up: James 1:22

4) The branches and leaves form what is called the crown of the tree. This crown is the focal point of the tree. Our reaching out, our actions are the focal point of first impressions. What we
do or don’t do is what the world around us first sees.

5)  The branches and leaves must be connected to the trunk. Without the trunk they die quickly. Look up: John 15: 5 Apart from Christ we can do nothing. We can give the allusion of living, but we have nothing to give on our own.

6) The crown of the tree cannot outgrow the roots without major problems. In order for a tree to stand firm it needs a strong base; a base that well anchored and able to with stand the weight of the crown. We too must not allow our outreach to outweigh our time with God. In order to remain strong we must walk with Him not just for Him.

7) The crown provides home, safety, comfort, shade and refuge for creatures of the forest. Our reaching out to others brings them comfort and strength. Our life is to be a gift to others; we are to edify and lift each other up. Look up: Mark 4: 32, I Thess. 5: 11

8)  What happens to the crown of two trees if they grow up right next to each other? Unlike the roots of trees, including the big Sequoia trees that intertwine their roots to help hold each
other up, the crown of two trees will grow two different directions. They grow in such away though that from a distance they look like one tree. (feel free to draw a picture to show this concept) How does that relate to our reaching out? We are to complement each other, not compete with each other. Look up: Romans 12: 4(-21)

9)  Lastly, a tree lives to create its crown. We live to one day receive a crown. Look up: I Cor. 9:25, II Tim 3: 10, Rev. 4: 9-11

Today in our alone time read Romans 12: 6-13 (hand out papers
with The Message version too)

After 10-15 mins come back together and discuss how these verses spoke to each person and how they related to branches and
leaves.

Take prayer requests and pray for the person on the
left.

Tree Devo--Day two

7/15/2013

Tree Devotion—Day two:

Ice breaker: Tell your favorite thing to do with free time.

Today we are going to look at the trunk of the tree.

What do you know about the trunk of a tree? (write down the
answers)

Discuss how these points about a trunk relate to us as a Christian:

1) At first trunks grow quickly, it is obvious to all. Then as they mature they always continue to grow but it is not as visible from the outside. We too often take giant steps as a new believer. We make obvious changes that others see. Then our growth seems to slow down or at times even feel like it has stopped. But, we are still growing, like the rings on a tree, it is just not always easy to see from the outside.

2) The trunk is the support for the rest of the tree. We must keep out faith strong; it is what supports the rest of our life. Faith is believing in what is unseen, being sure of what we hope for. Wavering faith is like a rotting tree trunk, slowly getting weaker.
Look up: Matt. 7: 24-25.

3) The trunk is a highway that transports what is needed to other parts of the tree—from roots to leaves and back. It is important for us to keep the highway open between our head and our heart and back again. Faith without knowledge is foolishness and faith built on emotions is dangerous. Faith stuck in our head doesn’t allow us to experience life change or to reach out to others. Without the heart involved we will hurt people with our facts.

4)  Bark on a trunk is its protective layer. This layer protects the tree from pests and disease. We have a protective layer we are told to put on every day, it is the armor of God. Look up: Eph. 6:13.

5) The trunk is also the source of lumber. The variety of trees provides the beauty available when we want to build something. The differences are cherished. Often the more unique patterns
are formed out of injury or pain to the tree. Although we are all children of God, it is our differences that make us each perfect for a specific work. It is often those difficult times that teach us the greatest lessons that prepare us for helping others in their time of need. Look up: Hebrews 2:18.

6)  Show a picture (you can draw one, it doesn’t have to be fancy) of a single tree standing in a field and another of a tree in the midst of a woods. Ask, which tree is in a better environment and why. The single tree is more vulnerable to lightening, wind, erosion and tipping over. Surrounded by other trees the tree is protected and helped by all the other trees. We too do best in community, with others to support us, help protect us and sharing solid ground together.

7) Read The Three Trees by Angela Elwell Hunt. Talk about the story, namely God’s plans for us are bigger than we can imagine. It is fine to dream, yet we must always trust God is moving and in control of our lives.

In alone time today read: Romans 12: 3-5 (papers with The Message version handed out too)

After 10-15 mins come back together and discuss how Romans 12
spoke to each individual and how it relates to the trunk.

Take prayer requests and pray for the person to the
left.

Teen Devo: Tree Analogy (day one)

7/13/2013

Day one:
Ice Breaker: If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? And why?

This study is going to teach us how to become that strong healthy
tree you want to be.

There are four key parts of a tree that we are going to look at.
Each part has its own function, needs and uses. We will discuss one part of the tree each day. The four parts are: roots, trunk, branches/leaves, and fruit.

Today we will look at ROOTS:

Let’s make a list of what we know about roots of a tree:
(write down ideas given)

Now let’s look at how our being well rooted aligns with these
points:
1) Show three drawings you have drawn previously—half of a set of roots ie:

left side only
shallow roots
full roots with long center (tap) root

Ask : can roots look like each of these? Why or why not?
Which root system is strongest?

What is wrong with 1 and 2? (easy to tip if wind comes)

Application: if we focus on only one truth about God we
become unbalanced and unable to stand against the world. We cannot just focus on His love, for example, we must also know God is just. Without seeking to know all of God’s character we will become imbalanced.

If we are content to remain shallow in our Bible knowledge, prayer life or seeking application, we will be easily tipped over. A shallow understanding is no safe guard against the winds this world billows against us every day.

A key part of being well rooted is to be still, spend time in God’s Word listening—soaking in and then applying His Truth through
journaling and prayer. This is how we send nutrients on to be used throughout our day.

2)  Roots have to be big; larger roots are needed for larger tops (we talk about this more on day three)

3)  Roots are hidden, The ones seen are not the strongest. The roots buried deep are the most effective. Look up: Mark 1:35, Ps. 119:11 It is our life hidden in Christ that keeps us strongest.

4)  Roots stretch out for water. Water is essential for a tree to live, so the roots go get what they need. Look up: Jer. 17: 8 We must be desperate for life giving water. Like roots we need to
stretch out each day to get what we need from God’s Word.

5)  Roots absorb nutrients from the ground and send it throughout the tree. Where do we get out nutrients? --from God’s Word and through prayer. We cannot stop with absorbing God’s Truth, we
must send it to the rest of the body. Journaling can help bridge the gap between knowledge and application. As we write we can see how God is speaking to us personally.

6) The strongest trees have a deep tap root. This root runs down the center of the root system and goes as deep as it needs to find water. This root has water even when the others are dry. It is this root that makes a tree nearly impossible to uproot. Look up: Eph
3: 17, Col 2: 7 Our tap root is praying without ceasing and having God's Word hidden in our hearts through memorization. When we go through life in constant fellowship with our Savior, then there is nothing that can trip us up or make us fall.

As we learn the functions of a tree, we are also going to practice each function by studying Romans 12. (I love how this chapter reads in the Message, so I handed out copies of the verses in that version each day for the teens to look at along with their Bible)

Today we are looking at Romans 12: 1+2

As you read, journal and pray think about how these verse speak
to you and how they relate to roots.

Give 10-15 mins to write something down.

When all are finished, come back together to discuss what each
teen learned.

End with prayer request and each person praying for the person on their left.