I was frustrated because I felt she had misled me. She was hurt because she thought we had a system of correcting every few days. My husband showed me we had a break down in our communication.
Practically, my husband helped me to see I needed to set up a system that was clear to both of us, including when and where to do math. Secondly, he explained my question of “Did you do your math?” was not clear enough. I need to ask, “Do you have any questions on your math?” or “Did you do all the problems in your math?” Can you believe that a different question never crossed my mind?
Bigger than these practical steps is a lesson the Lord showed me through this scenario. This morning as I was reading my Bible I read Philippians 4:5 “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”
Right away I was reminded of my lack of gentleness with my daughter. I knew I needed to apologize. But, that wasn’t all; the verse goes on to say “The Lord is near.”
I can imagine people interpreting this as, “Oh no, the Lord is near, I better be good. He is watching, He is going to be upset if I mess up.” But, that is not what I heard when I read this.
As I replayed the scene from the day before, I saw Jesus by me declaring His love for me. His declaration of love filled my tank, so I was able to lean on Him for wisdom and guidance.
What normally happens and happened yesterday is when I feel defensive, I raise my voice. I speak the first thing that comes to mind and want to win, not caring about gentleness. If I could see the Lord as loving me when I feel attacked or wronged, I could lean on that love and extend it to the other person.
In the end, when I apologized to my daughter and shared the verse the Lord had used to speak to me, she quickly forgave me, but at the same time I could see she was glad to see the Lord corrects me too.